


more than this

by Nyxierose



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Post-TLJ, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-17 20:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13084941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyxierose/pseuds/Nyxierose
Summary: "Maybe, maybe she could get used to this."





	more than this

**Author's Note:**

> From a prompt on my tumblr ([@electricbluebutterflies](http://electricbluebutterflies.tumblr.com)) - “You’re more than that.”

She came from nothing. She _is_  nothing.

The words echo over and over in Rey’s head. She knows, in some part of her heart, that they’re not true. But at the same time they _are_ , at the same time there are very good reasons that was an effective way to shut her down, and she can’t shake the feeling that maybe all of this is more than she was meant for. She could’ve lived and bred and died on that scavenger planet, and maybe she should’ve.

It’s been about a week and she’s not sure what day it is or what planet she’s on or which of the General’s decades of political connections the Resistance is currently taking advantage of. She’s not sure when she last ate or slept, and it’s been hours if not days since she last talked to another human being. Finn, who should’ve been her anchor, is a little busy hovering by Rose’s bedside. (Whatever the hell is going on _there_ , Rey is hesitantly happy for them, but she really hopes it works out.) So she’s alone, and she hates it now that she has something to compare it to, and her brain is an infinite loop of her negative traits, and her old life has never looked so appealing.

She’s curled up in a ball in a hallway where no one would think to look for her even if someone somehow noticed she was missing, has been for hours and has no plans to move anytime soon. Most likely, she’ll cry herself to sleep here. She’s beginning to already, soft sobs that go unheard, and so this is what being _lonely_  feels like. The whole damn galaxy has confirmed what she already knew about herself, and it’d be a dangerous pain if she had the energy to do something about it but thankfully she’s too damn tired and-

“Rey? What the...”

There’s another person approaching her, and from this distance Rey isn’t totally sure who but they sound _worried_. She turns her body away, tries to make the tears stop, fails. Shit. This is the last thing she needs right now, for yet another person to realize how useless she is. (Throwaway daughter of a feral planet. She was stupid to ever dream of being more.)

“Hey, can you hear me?”

She turns her head, figuring she might as well get this over with, and of course it’s someone who she hasn’t failed yet. Not that she’s had much of a chance, she reminds herself - an awkward introduction and a couple formalities in passing don’t count for much - but what little time they’ve spent together, Poe has seemed unspeakably kind and polite and that’s a little bit of a problem. It’ll hurt more when he realizes what he’s dealing with, that much she’s sure of, knife-pain that won’t kick and-

“What do you want?” she growls.

“Okay if I sit with you for a bit?”

She doesn’t suppose he’s actually _asking_ , but she motions to the space beside her all the same and watches as he gracefully drops down, close enough to touch her but doesn’t. She’s just a little bit fascinated with how he moves, purposeful without sharpness, unlike anyone else she’s had the chance to observe. She wishes she could say that, but it’d be awkward, and she’s already done so much damage, and-

Shit. She’s crying again. Pathetic.

“Hey. What happened? Talk to me. Please.”

Everything in Rey’s body wants to fucking _run_ , or perhaps say something venomous enough to get it all over with, but there’s so much gentleness and concern in his voice that she figures she doesn’t have a choice about this either.

“I’m nothing. That’s not... that’s not gonna change.”

She feels more than watches a surge of protective anger in him, and she’s almost flattered to be the cause of it. “Is that... did _he_ say that?”

“Yeah. But he’s not wrong.”

Poe shakes his head, still looking all kinds of worried and a little territorial in a way that Rey thinks might somehow work in her favor. “Nope. Completely wrong. You’re more than that.”

“You don’t _know_  me,” she growls.

“I don’t need to. I have a good eye for people, and you seem-”

“Not everyone can be right all the time.”

He laughs, like that’s a common correction he gets. “Fine, I slip up too, but... not just me. You give people hope.”

“And then I fail them.”

“There are still fighters. The Resistance still _means_  something. And I’m pretty sure part of that is because of... whatever you are.”

She rolls her eyes. “Even you don’t know what to do with me.”

“See, that there is the problem. You think you’re a weapon, Rey. I don’t see you as that. I see a person who’s been through the worst month of their life and still, somehow, is able to wake up and keep moving forward. You’re the most resilient person I’ve ever met.”

“And yet somehow that isn’t a weapon,” she laughs. If he’s trying to cheer her up, it’s working, but-

“Nah, not a weapon. Because I also know that you've been acting weird enough that my droid told me I needed to come down here and check on you because you’re not doing well.”

“And for a moment I thought you actually cared,” she hisses.

“Hey. Shhh. It’s not-”

“You could just say how useless you think I am. You don’t have to pretend you-”

“I do _not_  think you’re useless, Rey. But I also don’t think that matters right now. Okay, fine, I came down here because the angry beeping noises were getting annoying, but I’d asked him to keep an eye out for you. Figured you could use a little looking after.”

“And that’s not useless _how_?”

Poe takes a deep breath, like he’s summoning patience he doesn’t normally have. “Because contrary to everything you currently think, there is nothing wrong with needing other people. And there is a _lot_  wrong with running away and not letting anyone try to help take your weight.”

“I don’t... I don’t know how.”

“It’s okay.” He reaches across the space between them and cautiously laces his fingers around hers. “You can learn. I have faith in you.”

“R-really?”

“Yeah. I know you don’t feel it right now, Rey, but there are a lot of people who believe in you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re still fighting.”

She breaks down yet again, but this time without the familiar blanket of shame. Instead, something else, confusing and wordless but less painful than she’s used to feeling. She lets herself drown, lets herself collapse against the body next to her and lets him catch her. Maybe, maybe she could get used to this.

It hits her, as she remembers to breathe again, that every other time she’s wrapped herself around another person has been after a near-death experience. She supposes this is a little different, and she’s not sure if that’s even _okay_ but she figures it has to be because she’s still here. She’s allowed to be like this and she’s allowed to cling to someone she barely knows and-

“You’re more than this, Rey,” he breathes. One of his hands is on the small of her back, the other tangled in her hair, and she wants so many more moments like this. She wants this kind of warmth without the sadness, whatever that would look like. She wants...

“Thank you. You didn’t have to-”

“I wanted to. That okay?”

She’s not sure if she can answer that question, but she lets herself cling just a little bit closer and she supposes that’ll do.


End file.
